The Non-reality of Reality TV & Truth in Reality

Appearances are deceiving and I have to constantly remind myself of this truth all the time. As cliche as that phrase is, it is indeed the truth. I recently found myself bitterly reacting to a "reality" TV show. I had to shake off the moment of my bitterness and smack myself in the face and say "are you seriously getting all bent out of shape about this?!" (I didn't really smack myself in the face, but you get the point) "Reality" TV is far from reality. In fact this is probably one of the best examples of the phrase "appearances are deceiving."

I was reacting to Kate Plus 8 when it was recently announced that TLC was cancelling the show. My instant reaction was that of relief because I can't stand Kate. I can't stand her because of the opinion I've formed of her as a result of her performance on the show. There is so much I could say to air my opinion, but at the end of the day what would I gain from slamming someone I don't even know? You see, it is so easy for us as the reality TV show viewers to feel like we know these people that we see on TV, but we don't really know them. We are completely clueless. More than clueless- we are completely ignorant. Think about yourself for a moment and the things you struggle with on a daily basis, then multiply that times a million and we may have an idea of the battles these people face. [Insert tangent: In no way is this post meant to defend Kate Plus 8 or any other reality TV show out there. Quite the contrary, actually. And to be perfectly honest, I don't even watch Kate Plus 8 regularly-- I rarely watch TV at all. I'm just not interested in it and would rather be reading or doing other things of more value- like spending time with my husband or family]

Anyway, last night I was reading through an old journal from the summer of 2009. It was at this time that Jon and Kate Plus 8 would soon become only Kate Plus 8. The news of their divorce shattered my heart and compassion flooded my soul on behalf of the pain they were dealing with. I cried out to God on behalf of their marriage and even wrote about it in my journal, expressing how deeply it affected me. As much as it was aired on TV, think about the fact that there are still so many details that we as the viewers cannot even fathom- so many unspoken problems and battles. And yet, we think we know them and are so quick to speak our mind and our opinion about their marriage and decisions. When I heard about Kate's show being cancelled, I found myself saying the very things that I despised hearing from everyone else's opinions of her and that family-- as if I know what is best for Kate and have her all figured out. I am a complete ignorant imbecile to have even thought that! I was one of the many people who wanted to speak my mind and freely express my own opinion about her so-called "reality" TV show. I'm completely ashamed of that and wondered to myself as I read my journal last night, "why am I so different than what I expressed about them two years ago when I was broken-hearted for their divorce?"

What I just confessed can be applied to our relationships on all levels-- what I perceive about someone is not at all close to what their reality is. I am guilty of this every single day. Guilty of thinking someone is doing well when in all actuality they are not well at all. Another part of this is our tendency as humans to not want someone to think negatively, or judge, and that is one reason we can so easily pretend like we're "just fine" when what we really need is to just talk to someone and be real about it. There is a natural fear of transparency and I understand this all too well. I've learned though, that so much of my own own inner battles can be won just by talking openly about them to someone else- someone I trust. I'm not saying I have the answer to how unreal we can all be a good amount of the time, but I am saying that it is really important to be real. If you're having a bad day and someone asks how you're doing, tell them the truth! Be honest about it and transparent about yourself. You'll begin to see that people appreciate when someone is real with them instead of acting like they have it all together. Let's be real: you don't have it all together. None of us do. Let's get over our opinions of one another and pray for more compassion and love for each other. Please pray for Jon and Kate and the Gosselin children. They need our prayers, compassion and love more than anything. Let us not be consumed by our perception because perception is not reality.

[[Also, if you feel like you don't have anyone you can talk to, then my prayers are with you. Know that you are not alone in the way you feel and in what you are struggling with and I pray that the Lord will send you to a place where you feel safe, loved and welcomed to speak truthfully with complete honesty and transparency.]]